Do the Interview

In case you don’t know me personally, my name is Ulla Kelly and I’m currently doing a series of coming out stories which will be published on queerlife and here. OK it’s not a new idea, but I personally think coming out stories are great, I’m always curious to read them and I’d love to see a website full of them. If you’re willing, please answer the questions below, at as much length as you like; ignore any questions you don’t like and send the responses back to me either at spr.serious [at] gmail.com or to Lazy Nachos on Facebook asap. Please use Coming Out as the subject of your mail or message, thanks. I’d like to have an image with each interview, so depending on how comfortable you feel with it, please let me have a photograph of yourself, or an image that represents you. Please also feel free to pass this on to any other people you know. You’re also very welcome to ignore this request.

I will never pass email addresses or any other information to anyone else.  I swear it by all my comfortable dyke shoes.

If you’re a heterosexual person living on Lesbos, I’d love to hear your story too.

You can use the questions below, or the online form.

Country & city:
Name/nickname:
Age:
Gender:
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)?
What other words would you use to describe yourself?
How old were you when you first realized your identity?
How old were you when you first told someone?
Did you plan it? If so, how?
What made you choose that person to tell?
Can you remember exactly what you said?
How did you feel?
What was the person’s reaction?
What did they say?
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards?
What’s it like now?
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it?
What happened?
What were peoples’ reactions?
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example.
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution:
Job:
Family:
Friends:
What does being out mean to you?
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out?
What does the concept of the closet mean to you?
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out?
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how?

If you want me to include a link to your personal and/or professional website, please add that too.

Thanks very much for taking part in this!

You can read my interview here.

44 responses

12 09 2008
Come outa the closet, baby! « Coming Out Stories

[…] Coming out stories coming soon … lucky them!  They’ll be published here, on Queerlife, at iDyke – and anywhere else we can find a home for them.  In the meantime, do the interview. […]

15 09 2008
bentgayer

Hi there,

I’ve sent my story to you via the email address supplied in the text above.

Thanks for wanting to include it, much appreciated.

Jon xxxx

15 09 2008
bentcrude

thanks so much! i got it and will be adding it tonight

ulla

16 09 2008
Come on, come out… « Homo Is Where The Heart Is

[…] by bentgayer I was contacted by Ulla Kelly via one of the comments boxes here to go along and Do The Interview which I duly did.  The end result can be found […]

17 09 2008
ccevideo

Thanks for visiting our blog. I did the online form today as you requested. Hope it helps. Good luck with the project – I think its a great idea. If you want to do video interviews as well or stories – we would be happy to put them on Planet Q TV for people to watch and be inspired.

Thomas
Planet Q TV
Click Click Expose (Gay Entertainment Media)

17 09 2008
bentcrude

excellent, will be in touch with you soon.

18 09 2008
Araliya

Hi. I did the interview as you requested. I think the project’s a great idea and I wish you luck with it.

19 09 2008
bentcrude

thanks, got it :)

22 09 2008
Coming Out Interview « Frangipani

[…] Tags: Bisexuality, Coming out, Sexuality In the comments on my last post, bentcrude asked me to do the interview on her site. I did it, though now I’d like to add a few things to the ‘other words that […]

25 09 2008
Out Of The Closet: Ulla (South Africa) » The Lesbian Question

[…] was thrilled when TLQ emailed about this project, as I’ve been collecting coming out stories […]

28 09 2008
bentcrude

yay pingbacks.

28 09 2008
Wilhelmina Wang

Cool idea, I’ve definitely heard some very odd and interesting and touching coming out stories from people before

29 09 2008
bentcrude

thanks ww! feel free to send us yours and pass the word on

29 09 2008
dumpedbyahallucination

This is such a wonderful idea! I have nothing to add myself, but I may stalk the website anyway. ;) Just to see, because I like it.

Suzy x

29 09 2008
bentcrude

awesome – very glad to have all interviews/interaction etc :) welcome

30 09 2008
eluse

Of course I’ll do the interview, thanks for checking out my blog

30 09 2008
bentcrude

thanks!!!

2 10 2008
lynnontop

What an interesting site. Good luck with it.

2 10 2008
bentcrude

thank you very much indeed

10 10 2008
randomdent

Thanks for visiting my blog! Asexuality is a very under-explored orientation. I might very well do the online interview later ^_^

11 10 2008
bentcrude

awesome :) thanks a lot

all the colours of the rainbow and more

11 10 2008
So … international coming out week … « Coming Out Stories

[…] do the interview … […]

11 10 2008
Closets are for victims « iDyke

[…] the Coming Out Stories project started, I’ve been pondering the concept of closets and coming out of them. It’s so […]

13 10 2008
phunkybrats

I would love to do an interview…what do you need? Where do I get the questions?

13 10 2008
13 10 2008
WendySkeleton

Just so you know, I’ve submitted my answers using the online form, so if you catch it and post it on your blog, feel free.

13 10 2008
Shirley

Great site, i couldnt open the interview form so i will send it via email

13 10 2008
bentcrude

thanks – got ’em both :)

14 10 2008
Sally

Is the online form still available, error message says problem with hosting x

14 10 2008
bentcrude

i’ll email the owner right now … thanks :) meantime feel free to copy/paste …

14 10 2008
Sophie

just submitted the online form, but at clicking submit it brought me to a suspended account, hope that it didn’t conflict with submitting the form.
Oh well, but if you want a pic with my storie, feel free to pick one from my flickr account.
~
sophie

14 10 2008
bentcrude

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

it didn’t come thru :(

14 10 2008
Sophie

okay….too bad….i’ll simply do it over in the morning then… and send it to you by email, will your telkomsa address do?
hope your fine with that ;)

weltrusten :)

14 10 2008
bentcrude

yes t6hanks!!!

14 10 2008
bentcrude

no idea what’s up with queerlife.co.za – have contacted the owner and will update you guys asap .. meantime, full steam ahead with this blog, as always :)

14 10 2008
dorian grayheart

Country & city:los angeles, ca
Name/nickname:dre
Age:21
Gender:male
What did you come out as (gay, bi, transgendered, use any terms you like here)?bi when i was 17
What other words would you use to describe yourself?unique, one of a kind, a trade mark
How old were you when you first realized your identity?i questioned since 7th grade but was sure and comfortable when 16
How old were you when you first told someone?17
Did you plan it? If so, how?yes, a few days before prom-it was a bi event. 8 bisexual in one room enjoying life the way it should be, safe and honest
What made you choose that person to tell?she was willing to listen and not judge but love me for me
Can you remember exactly what you said?not exactly. i was totally original with the this is who i am like it or not. i am me, and i will no longer life my live in lies and self hatred. i need your support n love to announce you are the first person i told so there you can hate me or be thankful i chose you to share a intimate and personal detail of my life
How did you feel?honest, safe, and without doubt
What was the person’s reaction?calm and loving
What did they say?they knew, big shock. everyone seems to know but you like you don’t know yourself. whatever. anyways, i was relieved and thrilled to not be alone
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards?more honest, able to guy hunt together like a tag team into she went away to college
What’s it like now?distance, but always in each other’s hearts
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it?no one because i am not ashamed and they just hating cause we are free spirits
What happened?n/a
What were peoples’ reactions?n/a
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example.not yet but willing to fight it and stand up for what i believe
Since coming out, how “out” are you in the following areas of your life:
Educational institution:fully
Job:don’t blast about it, but wouldn’t deny it
Family:half know, others waiting into i move out so i don’t have to care what their reactions are hint kicked out or black sheep
Friends:all know
What does being out mean to you?a life of choices and options
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out?another black on the downlow, please never been with a married man yet but seriously i am who i am one of a kind and who care what race or ethnic i am-i am still human, just check my DNA
What does the concept of the closet mean to you?lies, deception, and self hate
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out?none, it is a personal choice that we must each make in out own timeline even if in 80’s
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how?yes, tell the whole high school in a newspaper and say screw you all if don’t like it. been more honest and saved half a life of drama

14 10 2008
bentcrude

cool :)

ps the online form’s workin again – they were moving queerlife to a new server because of its increased traffic

14 10 2008
bentcrude

cool :)

ps the online form’s workin again – they were moving queerlife to a new server because of its increased traffic

22 10 2008
Coming out and staying out…. « Homo Is Where The Heart Is

[…] Ulla (whom I feel I’ve known far longer than the month or so we’ve been in contact) to Do The Interview, I was aware that this would be made public and for just about the first time ever, I’ve felt […]

24 10 2008
The Closet Expierence « Elusie: Evasivo Brain Power

[…] https://excloset.wordpress.com/about/ Posted in Extras | Tags: adult, advocates, agressive, Blog, closet, coming out, courage, decision, excloset, express, family, freedom, Friends, funny, gay, gender, hard, homosexual, Hope, interview, lesbian, lgbtq, Love, Old, Peace, people, queer, Random, shy, Teen, wordpress, young […]

5 11 2008
updaterish « dialup vr00m

[…] been trying to maintain and spice up the coming out stories project, most recently by including an interview for people who’ve had people to come out to them.  […]

10 03 2011
Emily

Is anyone interested in telling their story on-camera? I am doing a documentary that will be released in conjunction with the DVD release of a popular television show that deals with a character coming out. Need to be in the Los Angeles area. Please email me at 818-632-4169 if interested and I can go over details of the project. Thank you.

29 01 2013
http://tinyurl.com/yen9lions08107

I have a tendency to go along with the whole thing
that is posted in “Do the Interview | Coming Out Stories”.

Thanks a lot for pretty much all the actual information.
Thanks for your time,Jacques

20 10 2015
Gretchen Caddell (@cards0nal)

I am actually in the middle of uploading a video on YouTube using the questions. So I will put a link to the video in a second

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